Making a fool of yourself is never a bad thing..

Last week I thought I actually should pay my GP a visit, for three reasons:

- Get results from an ultra sound scan I had back in May.

- Ask him whether I have MS or could go blind at any time.

- Have a general chat about my health and anxiety issues.

So there I was in the Doctors surgery, waiting, which is an anxiety episode in itself. There's so many posters and leaflets telling you to check this or check that; or do you have these symptoms; or did you know you are at risk of this disease or that condition.

I always try my hardest not to look at these but the more you try the more you end up looking at them and reading them- you can't escape them- they call out to you like a crazed demon monkey …"look at me…you know you want too".

I finally distracted myself by texting my sister Lilly every five minutes with how long I was having to wait to see the doctor. I forgot my book and of course I couldn’t read the leaflets, so I started talking to the person next to me. A middle aged chap with no hair and no coat. We found common ground in complaining about the wait. FINALLY- my name came up on the screen- YES its my turn….I walked in.

I like my GP- he always listens and brings a real human side to the medical profession. (I'm terrified of medical anything, places, nurses, doctors, even stethoscopes). Any way he reassured me that I don’t have MS and that I'm not randomly going to go blind suddenly with no good reason. Phew.. That was a relief.

He then read out my scan results report- "everything is fine", he said,  "although the clinician who carried out the scan did note that you were highly anxious".

Wow, I thought I can't believe she mentioned that in the report. Although thinking back I can believe it- I made a complete fool of myself. As already mentioned I am petrified of medical establishments, medical people, medical tests, medical anything, so I was in pieces at the health centre- about to have a scan which could reveal a number of serious illnesses.

 The only way I could think to stop myself running out of there was to sing a song while the clinician was conducting the scan. I know!! What was I thinking? But it seemed to be my only survival measure at the time. I didn’t care if she thought I was possessed, needed a tranquiliser shot or a scan of my head…I was going to sing, sing like a skateboarding goblin- to numb my fears and that was that.

So what did I sing?... Twinkle twinkle little star…why that song popped into my head will remain an unsolved crime…may be it was the only song I could remember all the words to at the time…who knows? I certainly don't.

Recalling the story to my good friend Cecil later- he remarked that he thought I should have gone for a more sophisticated song choice.. Maybe he's right but at that torturous moment…twinkle twinkle saved the day…I'll always be grateful to it.

Love Amelia.